This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
