Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
