Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
