Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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