Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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