i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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