You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
