She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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