chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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