So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
