Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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