Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
