If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
