So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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