honey bunches of taint.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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