dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
