after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
