Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
