if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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