Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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