i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
