god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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