I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
this is an emotional support booty call
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
