we have officially lost it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Drunk is not a location!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
