My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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