so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
