Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
