We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
