I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize