weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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