I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
