there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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