Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize