my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
