you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
