Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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