8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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