I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
