why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
