My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
