I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
