I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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