Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize