Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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