i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
