I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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