Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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