But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
