just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
