Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
