quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this is an emotional support booty call
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
