She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
