Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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