is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
