I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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