you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
