a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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