thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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