Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You are the jesus of drinking
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
