I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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