Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
