fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
