You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she peed on how many people?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
