The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize