oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
