you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
